next time...

When talking with the average person, they're always surprised when I tell them that I work from home teaching music lessons in the evenings. Inevitably, this question comes up: "Oh, well do you have a day job?". Ok, I guess I can understand why the average person would ask this. The average person works during the day, 9-5 maybe, gets home, makes dinner, watches TV and goes to bed. I get this probably once a week, even from people who know me very well, but I was asked this just yesterday, and found myself extremely internally frustrated with this person as if they expected that "of course I would have a day job, what else on earth could I possibly be doing during the day", and all I could answer was, "no". She even went as far to say: "This is why you have a husband!" I was so insulted that like an idiot, I giggled and said jokingly, "haha yes". What I should have said was one of two things:

1) Oh, well do you have an evening job? Does your husband have a uni-brow?

2) Well, considering I'm a professional musician and own my own business teaching music lessons in the evening after kids are home from school, and take it very seriously, here's a detailed list of things I could be doing at any given point during each day:

• Practicing

• Marking theory assignments

• Arranging songs and pieces for students and ensembles

• Lesson planning

• Teaching clinics

• Researching new books, teaching methods, and instruments

• Scheduling weekly lessons and make up lessons

• Answering emails, making phone calls

• Writing and designing newsletters, contracts, policies, registration forms, websites

• Accounting and budgeting for my own business

• Building clientele and advertising

So, please ask me again if I have a day job. Listen sister, this is my day job, my evening job, my weekend job. I run my business alone, from top to bottom. I don't have employees with specific titles who can take care of specific individual responsibilities, I do the job 6 people would do, I have to be well rounded, I do it all, I'm it. And while you get to leave your work at work and proceed home in the evening to make dinner with your significant other and wind down in front of the TV, this is what I could be doing:

• Teaching back to back music lessons to wonderful children

• Rehearsals for three separate ensembles

• Concerts for three separate ensembles

• See everything else above

And when you're spending weekends prettying up your garden, drinking cocktails on your deck, catching up on your favourite TV shows and surfing the net, spending time with family and friends, this is what I could be doing:

• Wedding Gigs

• See everything else above

And no, I am not complaining. I love my job, I love being responsible for every working aspect of my home business, I love being in control. Because I work for myself, I do manage to find spare time at my own discretion to do the following things which I could be doing at any given point of the day, evening or weekend, which probably gives the average person the impression that I'm sitting on my ass twiddling my thumbs, but be warned, you are wrong:

• Check my personal emails

• Make personal phone calls

• Blog

• Watch TV

• Make all 3 meals of the day + snacks

• Eat, shower and use the toilet

• Spend time with friends and family

• Hang out with my beloved husband

• I could find the time to exercise if I wanted to...

• Read books, play sudoku and the occasional video game

• Run errands
• Grocery Shopping
• House cleaning
• Laundry
• Traveling

Now, let me address the reason I have a husband. We met, we became best friends, we fell in love, we have common interests and goals, we wanted to spend the rest of our beautiful lives together. I consider myself financially independant, I did not marry to be supported. Teaching music lessons and playing professionally is an extremely lucrative career, I probably get paid more per hour than you do if you must know. But it's true, my hours are limited and dependant on the schedule of other people. And it's also true that I can't afford to live in this house on my own. But neither could he, and neither could you. So take that, witch.

If only I could have thought that fast, it would have felt like a gigantic slap in the face so hard she'd turn red from the mere thought of it. I suppose I'd then have to explain that I'm not necessarily exploding exclusively at her. I've just simply reached the breaking point, I refuse to let other people make me think that I don't work hard, and I refuse to let them believe the same. I already feel sorry for the next person to tread on this sensative subject, but may the truth be known. I work equally as hard if not harder than you.

Power to the self-employed!!!!

savasana chakrasana

I guess I haven't been writing much this summer, so I've got to make up for it now! Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn't get my mind to calm down. I felt like my heart was beating too fast, there were a million thoughts all jumbled up and I couldn't focus on any one for a length of time. I've been getting headaches daily, around the same time every day (today too without fail) so bad that I have to lie down for them to get better. And generally I've just been feeling out of sorts and not myself...and this is summer for goodness sakes! I should be more like myself than ever before!

So I decided to lay flat on my back in Savasana. It's been SO long that I've done yoga, that I chalked a lot of the way I've been feeling up to missing it dearly. I took long, deep breaths and really tried to get inside my own head. I made myself focus on just me, only me. Trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me, and all I could see was black (I can hear Noel saying: Open your eyes! haha) But seriously. It was like I was looking into a toxic black hole. I couldn't find anything to pick out, it was just all dark, weak and sick feeling. Then I became worried about my mental and physical well-being. This couldn't be healthy. But even in those 15 or so minutes of lying there, I already started to feel better. I tried to pull out the toxic darkness that resided in my head, and began releasing whatever it was that was dragging me down.

Firstly, I'm starting to realize that I need to stop putting a price on my health and well-being. Even when I'm not working summers, I need to do what it takes to make sure that I'm exersizing the body and mind. Whether that's saving up during the year, or creating something I can do from home. It's got to be something, and it's got to include Yoga.

My flute teacher used to talk about Chakra's (aalll the time) and I thought it was so cool, but I had never done extensive research on the subject. I always knew that it was something important to learn about and understand, but never got around to it. Basically, there are 7 centers of energy, or chakras, in the body that reside in different levels vertically along your mid-line. And if any one of these chakras are out of balance, it puts the whole thing off kilter and you just don't function the way you should.

I put chakra in google, and found this test (don't worry - I'm not stopping here. This is just fun and preliminary) here.

Already this says a lot about the way I've been feeling. Check out the meaning here. Clearly my root and crown chakras have been suffering, and I didn't need a quiz to help me figure that out. But I'm about to delve in the wonderful and beautiful world of chakras and figure out how to balance myself back to normal.

I should also point out something really interesting. Just over a month ago I had a Chakra Massage in Canmore. They started it off by having you choose 3 out of 7 cards (chakra cards) based on the symbol, colour, word or general feeling you get just by looking at them. I chose heart, third eye and crown. All of which are out of balance...then again it looks like almost all of me is out of balance.

I'll be sure to post any updates in my chakra adventures! Tonight I'm chanting "Lam" as I sit touching my thumbs and forefingers together.

growing

As I'm sitting and contemplating the meaning of life, I've decided that it would be really fun to make a list of all the things I can do when I grow up. Things I've tried or have wanted to try but always forget about because of all the distractions around me. Things that I love and am extremely passionate about, things that excite me and that make a positive difference in someone's life, whether it's mine or yours! Here we go:

• Elementary/Music School Teacher
• Musical Therapist
• Web Designer
• Yoga Instructor
• Reiki Practitioner
• Organic Herbalist
• Organic Aromatherapist/Essential Oil Maker
• An eco-stationer
• I've always had this idea that when I have kids, I'm going to invent something kid-related that's so awesome we can live off of for the rest of our lives
• Baker/Pastry Chef

Hang on...I think there's more. In my head this list seemed so long and never-ending!

What scared me a little bit today was that I really can't see myself teaching private music lessons for the rest of my life. Maybe that will change, but right now envisioning myself in my 40's and still teaching privately makes me really anxious. Like there's something else I need to bring into my life to feel well rounded and accomplished. I feel like I just need a change of pace to clear my head a little bit (it's been 10 years already!!) and refresh. That, and also almost all of my closest friends are school teachers and sometimes I enjoy just fitting in. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in once in a while!

At least I think I know one thing for sure - I'll be working for myself for the rest of my life. I've been tempted lately to go out and find a part-time job at a bakery or cute retail shop...but definitely not something I'd stick to for long. And working in a school is sort of like working for yourself. You've got your class, your room, and your lesson plans. Seems like a lot you have control over (maybe I'm totally wrong)...

Sometimes, I just want to live in the bush, run around bare foot, sleep on straw and eat things straight from the ground. Is that weird?

here i go again...

Well, I've gone and done it. Decided to change the look of the website for our musical duo (change #3) but at least this time it was well warrented. With the closing of my stationery business, I decided it was time to give us a fresh look. One that was all our own and this time I'm making an effort to keep the content super clear and super easy to access.

BUT! Now that I feel like I've got the design down, I'm having such insane severe writers block that I can't even begin to write. My brain is all tangled up with voices telling me to make sure it sounds professional, but don't change the vibe you've got going on, sound fun and accessable without sounding too cute and unprofessional. Speak volumes about what you do because it is that awesome, but don't sound like your bragging for the fear that you'll turn clients away because you'll sound cocky. Don't write too much because people won't read it, but don't write so little that it feels like point form (I hate, point form). Come up with something catchy and original but don't turn it into a cheesefest because you want this to be modern, because you're not just any other stuffy, traditional, classical duo. You can play anything and make it sound like it was meant to be played that way, but don't say that (see above: cocky).

I have no idea where to start, and I'm not in the mood to copy and paste content from our old website...the whole reason I wanted to start fresh and new. Maybe I'll just leave it for another day... *sigh* blah, blah, blah...

at home getaway

After treating myself to a glorious few days with my best girlfriends, I'm finding myself searching for more ways to keep this calm and collected feeling without having to leave the city or spend a lot of cash! I came across this "4-Day Spa Getaway at Home" article at Martha Stewart - some wonderful, relaxing ideas!

You can also condense this 4-Day routine into 2 days, if you skip a few steps and choose your favourites instead. And why not plan it for when the guys are out of town so we can stay over at someone's place? Maybe even sleep over outdoors, breathing in the fresh air all night. There's nothing better than experiencing this with your buds, so while you're preparing the healthy food or massaging your own face with home-made serum, you can catch up on the latest gossip and build more on the friendships you already have.

Maybe I can incorporate this into my extra-outdoor-seating building party...or into my outdoor-planter-painting party...mix a little work into the relaxation. hee hee Still SO fun of course!

am i there yet?

Well...I could start off this post explaining how busy the past month or two or three have been. How I've just started my laundry tonight after over a month of laundry non-doing, how every spare second I seem to have is spent cleaning the house, or working on our deck. How we've had the cable cut for almost a month and I haven't even noticed, how I thought Friday would be my last hectic day before summer started, which was pushed until Saturday, then Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday...well Wednesday (today) wasn't so bad...but I won't...well I guess I already have, haven't I?

So, let's see what's changed:

1) I've finished my last big stationery project - some gorgeous wedding invites for a friend, though we're not quite done as she still needs some stationery items for her reception, though the order won't be as big or complicated.

2) I've finished teaching regular private lessons until September, though I'll be keeping a few students on throughout the summer.

3) Our deck is slowly coming along - my mom says it all the time, and she's so right - how on earth did we get this far with the limited amount of time Noel and I have to spend on it?? Anyway, I'm hoping it's done in enough time to enjoy it this summer and still have time to replant the grass and make our back yard look healthy.

4) We've been mostly refunded for our shoddy fence job done last November. SUPER! We'll fix the gate and leave the rest to be dealt with next year I think.

5) We now have 2 leaky toilets instead of 1...oh the perils. Thankfully they leak into the bowl and not onto the floor...still though. Waste of water and money.

6) Altra Volta has finished up for the summer too, our last concert was on Sunday and we rocked!

7) I've almost secured times for all my students in the fall, so my schedule is firming up nicely and I've changed my working hours to be done at 6:30 everyday, rather than working till 8:00 some days. This allows my brain to relax in the evening like normal people, and hopefully Noel and I can have dinner together once in a while, and not just at his parents' house!

8) I've found a new dentist who actually cares about my teeth and their future health, not just their health 'right now'. Her name is Dr. Cedergren. She's fabulous.

9) I decided not to take the position on the board for Alberta Winds, which takes a HUGE load off of this summer and in the future, though I'll still be taking care of small marketing tasks.

10) Sweeney Todd music is in, so I've got to go get that picked up soon!!

Hang on a sec...this is suddenly turning into a to-do list...uh oh. Anyway, there are a tonne of things I want to do this summer. I want to paint pictures for our bedroom, develope wedding photos, throw cute Martha Stewart style parties on our new deck when it's done. I want to move the shed and plant a vegetable garden. I want to have lush green healthy grass. I want to clear out the guest room and basement. I want to re-evaluate the possibility of getting a dog this summer, I want to face-lift our front yard that looks like absolute hell right now (though I love the idea of halting the wide-spread use of herbicides). I want some time with my husband to plan our trip while in NY. I want to paint my toe nails, have breakfasts with my husband again. I just want to LIVE! I believed all of this could happen, but so far my everyday life has been filled with these little tasks that I just can't seem to shake!! I think I'm stuck in a timewarp of stress, and I can't remember how to get out!! Imagining having a dog or even babies in the future makes me really panicky right now - I never thought things could be this busy!

Ok, good news then - we're going camping with close friends next weekend, if that doesn't get me out of this rut I don't know what will! And it'll be good to go on more coffee dates with my girlfriends, and continue to plan our July road trip together, and I should take advantage of having my mom work with us on the deck and have mother-daughter conversations with her too.

I guess I believe life will get back to normal, I just thought it would have happened by now and it's freaking me out a little bit. I can't live like this forever!

Well it was good to get bits and pieces of that out, I can't seem to form sentances well enough to say it all outloud. But this was good enough. I've begun to think that I shouldn't be using two different blogs to discuss basically the same things...initially I thought it would be a good idea to not pollute the family blog with junk like this, but maybe it belongs there? Who knows...maybe it will make more sense when I've got a proper head on my shoulders. This post turned out a little more depressing than I meant it to be! Can't wait to feel good again posting about silly little things that make my world go 'round...

♥

fried brains

My brains are fried!! Too much computer time...but I got a lot done. I finally finished my clients' preliminary templates, so I can get started on finishing my last stationery project, FINALLY!!

And I made a greenvite for a friends' concert, which she loves and is sending out to all of her students' parents...too bad I don't have a proper greenvite website set up. But that will all come in due time - who knows if it's something I'll actually stick to anyway! In the meantime, it's so refreshing to be able to design without waste...next step is to greenpower my website. One day at a time...

On a fun note, as I leaned over too far and nearly toppled out of my chair, my big toe smacked my computer tower and BEHOLD! A stunning array of gadget holes revealed themselves...a mic/earphone/something else hole AND! 2 USB holes!!! For almost 2 years Noel and I, amongst others, had wondered why on earth my computer didn't have USB plugs in the FRONT of my tower. So I'd been hooking things up in the back all this time, getting more and more frustrated plugging and unplugging things and moving the tower in and out...in...and out. Finally I have this frontal option. Excellent.

As I'm blabbering on, I'm also realizing that it's been over a month since I've written. That will give you an idea as to what kind of month it's been. Well, 3 more weeks left until I'm summer bound...and can't wait :)